Category: Humor

Pray to God you never get questions like these. But if you do, here are a few examples to help you out.

Question 1: If you throw a red stone in a blue sea what will it become?
Answer: It will become wet. And it will sink.

Question 2: Do you know how to drop an egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Answer: Easy. Just drop the egg. Concrete floors are very hard so the floor will not crack!

Question 3: What looks like half an apple?
Answer: The other half

Question 4: How can a man go eight days without sleep?
Answer: No problem. He sleeps at night.

Question 5: What will you do if I run away with your sister?
Answer: The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you, sir.”

Question 6: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) – What if one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant ?
Answer: I will be very excited and take a day off, to celebrate with my husband. (Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why should I think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.)

Question 7: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived and was kept before the candidate, then he asked “What is before you?”
Answer: Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea” and got selected.

(You know how and why did he say “TEA” when he knows very well that coffee was kept before him?.
Answer: The question was “What is before you U? (-alphabet). Reply was “TEA” T (- alphabet).

Question 8: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back. *
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again…

Answer: The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Question 9: What can you never eat for breakfast?
Answer: Dinner.

Question 10: The interviewer asked the candidate “This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table.”
Answer: Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and said that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked “how did you decide that this is the central point of this table?”, then he answers quickly that “Sir you are not supposed to ask any more question, as it was the last question as you promised …..
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.

. Please note that I have not made these questions/answers myself, I collected them from several sources – so you can perform better in such interview.

Bing: B ing I s N ot G oogle. And Smarty is not Smart.

We, software developers are incredibly bad at naming things. We try to make every new software sound stylish – which in turn means ending up with names that have no relation to their meaning.

Take for example the following names and what they mean

Smarty = A very silly class developed in PHP that is used to separate the
business logic from the presentation logic. They could have named it
something simpler like PHP Template Class. But no, they must choose a smart
name. The result? anybody who does not know Smarty thinks its difficult and
tries to avoid it – and those who know this silly Class, wonder what’s so
Smart about it

Ajax = Asynchronous JavaScript and XML.
I know experienced web developers who avoided this for years because it sounded
so complicated and perplexing. Good name, sounds stylish.
I know ajax inside out, and believe me, it is a very easy, simple topic that you
can master in a day or two. In short, it is just a good JS class.

Magento = Any guess from the name what this means? Surprise, it is a readymade customizable shopping cart script built in PHP.

The problem with these names is that it makes easy things hard to remember. Also, many times, to people who are new, these names mislead them into understanding the meaning. For example, take the name Python. It happens to be a general purpose programming language. What naming convention is that? What coding standard is that? What business logic is that? Maybe they expected it to gobble up C,C++ and Java. At least James Gosling named Java so because he consumed a lot of Java Coffee while creating it.

Bad nomenclature, small life of technologies ( a dog born today will live way longer than an OS or programming language born today), and shifting domains ( Desktop->Network->Web->Mobile->Cloud-????) make things more difficult for us than they should be.

Versions: As if the name itself were not bad enough, now they do it with versions. For example, Eclipse IDE is not a program to help astrologers but an IDE to write programs. Their version (not in order), are Helios, Europa, Ganymede, Galileo. And hey, Google jumps in too. So now Android versions 1,2,3,4 etc sound too boring, so they call it Donut, Froyo, Cupcake, Gingerbread, Ice Cream (not in order). Guess what they will name their last versions? Android Yeti and Android Zebra.

When I was in college, I used to think – people with strong Memory should become Doctors. And people with strong Analytic skills, problem solving skills should become programmers. Now, I realize things are changing. You need to mug up to be a software developer too. And they Copy+Paste. Alas. I feel sad.

I’ll close my laptop and go watch some movie today. Any idea what Scala, Clojure, Groovy, Eucalyptus could mean???? They sound like movie names to me.

When I was a fresher myself at the Indian Instt of Information technology, I used to hope that I could become a photographer. It was so much better than being a programmer. Instead of watching football on TV, the news company would pay me to go there and take photos!

What will you do when you go on a vacation to a beautiful place? Take pictures, right? A photographer does exactly that – but he gets paid instead of having to pay!

And all he needs to carry a light  250gm camera – not with a 2000gm Laptop hanging on one side that makes you feel dis balanced. And no, he doesnt have to stare at a 2 dimensional array of sick pixels all day long that make him shortsighted, with a crooked neck and paining back!

With thoughts of becoming a photographer, I purchased a camera and started shooting!

My stint as a sports photographer:


didn’t  last long.  I took this photgraph, but they rejected it. So I switched to the turf and shot this:


but they said my angles were all wrong! What idiots.  I realized that the sportsmen were too ignorant to see the intellect in my photography. So I switched to Politics.


But Mr Chowng Wong sued me for this picture. Now you tell me, did I take this picture from a wrong angle? All politicians are blind to see my work’s beauty, so I thought I’d shoot architectural wonders 3353735956_67f298d765_o


but it seemed those places were too alive and kicking and filled with disturbing people who came in my way just as I clicked.

Let’s go to a beach and shoot some serene backgrounds, I thought. But strange Yoga addicts sabotaged my pics!


And then I went crazy and started shooting  just  about anything I could focus my lens on.


But everybody said my pictures were taken from the wrong angles! Morons.  I quit photography! So now, I’m a programmer.


Well, I did copy paste all these photos, they are not my own. See – I have everything to be a good programmer!